I drew this on the stick and then carved it out. It is now painted with gold petals except for the one falling petal which is heart shaped, painted red like a drop of blood. I will design a few more similar to this on other sticks someday because it symbolizes loss of love. yeah, I know, sappy. Of course this was pre sanding and using finishing tools. This was the rough – out I made. And the heart is broken. The crease in the heart was also redefined as I progressed.
I realize that I have a problem. Its one that can’t be fixed by any drugs that I would ever take. I have creative ADHD. What is creative ADHD you may ask. Its quite simple really. I should have figured it out sooner.
I jump from creative endeavor to creative endeavor like a crow hopping branches on a hot day. I write, photograph, sing rock music, hunt, fish, hike, carve wood, paint, create brochures for all the stuff I do (and not to stop there), I also like to add more creative endeavors. I repair photos, dream up world saving scenarios, and try to argue against our current government and their warring ways. I jump from one to another – sometimes in mid project – and never miss a beat. I write for months on end, or don’t write for months on end. I photograph a thousand photos a day or none for a month. I sometimes drop things for a year and come back just like it was yesterday. Does anyone else have this problem?
I am currently typing this while writing a new song at the same time. Is it possible? Yes, because I am doing it. I don’t know why I do this, short attention span theater perhaps, I don’t know, but I love to create. I hope to post a special bit of writing I have been working on for a number of years very soon. I have to edit it and type it in here when I get the opportunity. I will tag it; hope, ambition, peace, prosperity, legacy, reason, trust, evolution, brainstorm, idea, thought, caring, and positive mind. I will let everyone know when it is up on my blog. If anyone cares to change the world and I can get this idea out there, it is a chance for anyone involved to say they had a part of it. Remember, it only takes a spark to make a great fire. And I hope my spark will ignite a thousand fires which will ignite a thousand more. But in order for a fire to burn it needs air, and this blog and the other thousands of blogs out there should be the air that keeps all the fires burning.
If I post that blog, and it doesn’t seem sensible, reasonable, or sane to anyone out there please let me know, I would like to know its flaws. I know one flaw already, that people don’t stick together on points that make common sense. So thats one that needs to be overcome.
Common sense is one of those things that doesn’t court politics, so it will be greeted with negativity by press, government, and anyone else who doesn’t really care if the world flounders, as long as they have cash in their pockets and the world keeps spinning. But this idea….well, its one that can change the world. I don’t want to be god, or some famous dope who takes credit for anything other than leaving this world a better place, so this isn’t for ego. This future blog post will be about what makes us the most prominent species on this globe, the fact that we have the ability to change the course of events. But how many of us are willing to do that?
If you do nothing more than read that blog post and pass it on to ten people if you agree that it is relevant I will applaud your part in starting those fires. And this has nothing to do with overthrow or revolution, or dismantling the gears that keep us moving as a society. This will be a binder for our culture and a way to progress as a smart people, an educated mass, an intellectual movement which will be listened to for a change.
I really do have creative ADHD, it makes for a very exciting life at times, and at other times it makes for deadlines that get waylaid until I pick up where I left off. The future blog post will show you that I am always thinking, and sometimes strike upon something so simple and hopeful that it has to be good. I have good intentions no matter how others may perceive me at times. I care for my fellow humans and want to leave a better planet for our generations to come.
If you feel the same way, then you will find the idea I present as an enlightening one then we must act upon it by using whatever influence we have to be heard. I started this blog as a way to show off my photos and maybe outlet some of my writing and other creativity. I now know it is a great platform for my thoughts on how we can better our species chances of survival. I’m not Ayn Rand hoping for a Utopia which may exclude certain factions. Everyone in the world, rich, poor, every nationality, is invited to participate and stand together if this idea proves viable. And believe it or not, the underground media, the counterculturists, the people who know the real news of the world without the hype and propaganda, would probably agree to this ideas potential as a way for the voices of all men to be heard and a way to introduce true peace to this struggling world.
Thank you to all of you who think along the same lines that I do. This world is worth saving. Our children and their children are worth doing this for. If you believe, then you can do anything. And creative ADHD? It just so happens to be what makes me so busy with my life that I can ignore television, the news, and focus on the beauty in music, good movies, art and reading twenty to fifty pages a night. And now, bedtime as I have to work in the morning.
Reflections on the library window in Ithaca, NY. A scaffolding is across the street as is the guy walking by the window.
They used to watch me write for hours, and were very good company. I made them who they are, and hopefully they are used for walking as they were meant to be. It’s sad, thinking of them being somewhere outside my realm, not knowing if they are mistreated. I hope they are admired, used properly, and handed down through generations. I built them to last and poured my heart into each and every one of them. They were my humble beginnings.
Why I write, take photos, create something from nothing, and generally put lots of time and effort into ventures that may well never be seen by any other individuals. Sounds like a waste of time already doesn’t it? But I assure you there is a reason I do what I do. And someday all of my effort will pay off by creating change.
I named this piece creative rage because its only fair to explain why I put my heart and soul into my creative endeavors and how rage figures into that. Originally I was a good artist, when I was young I used to draw horses and deer and trees rather well. As I grew older this ability fell to the wayside due to the trauma I experienced in my life, as well as my time being stolen by the need to work to survive. I forgot all about creating until I began singing for a metal band. Naturally being inventive and a word lover I started to write words to original songs and became a lyricist, which I still am to this day. But it didn’t quench my thirst for creativity. I had a lot of rage bottled up. I was a screamer in the band, it helped to keep me sane and to let my rage out safely. After the band years ended (about 15 years) I needed some way to divert my anger and frustration of living life in what I deemed this shell. (What others call a forty hour work week). So I began to shoot photography. I was at the time in a depressed state, suicidal, and angry. Rather than use the anger toward others I would go shoot 300 to 1,000 photos a day. I photographed anything that presented itself to my camera. I told myself that I was shooting the frustration, pain, anger and heartache through the lens and the by product was beauty. In this way it was very therapeutic for me to go and shoot photography. Some days were so good I would feel satisfied that I had done something creative. Meanwhile burning off my anger and pent up rage I saved others from dealing with my depressed outlook on life.
I knew this creative rage was not the same as getting help through therapy, but for me it worked. Eventually I began shooting photography just because it was fun. But it began as a way to calm me down. I developed an eye for it, taught myself by reading books and experimenting with different techniques, and stumbled onto new ways to do things with the camera. It was a learning experience I would never give up. I learn new things each day with the help of my camera. And my writing was boosted using the same technique, let it out on paper, create, focus the bad and make something good.
So if you need inspiration, do something creative when your in a bad place mentally, and tell yourself your using your creative rage to make something better, rather than using this rage to create violence. I hope this inspires someone else.
I am in a catch – 22, pardon the cliche, but that is where I am as I write this post. I have decided to use my skills as a manipulator of words as a vehicle to try to earn additional income as a freelance writer.
My full time job is an un-gratifying kick in the teeth which gets me nowhere financially and intellectually. i strive to be somewhere else before the advent of another summer. But summer seems so close and I am just beginning to research how to write and publish a blog and publish it to gain enough momentum to try to write freelance articles for online sites. I write both fiction and non-fiction, essays, songs, poems and assorted quips and quotes all with an aim to inform, entertain and to propel new thought among others.
As I write these first few blogs I write them as samples to show that I am only human. My sentence structure reflects who I am. I have run-ons, incomplete sentences, slang, cliched sayings, and generally sound like I am – a complex jangled mess of thoughts dying to get out of a man trapped in the retail profession. I have a mind and wish to be paid for it. I have beautiful thoughts and photographs and wish for the world to see them. I have ability and will share it with a willing world.
My art is not a particular piece. It is all pieces which I produce. My art of words is not studied or taught and my philosophy is unwritten. My, my, my, it always comes to that no matter what we say or do. The aim of my vision, my art, my words is to percolate thought. I want to provoke inspiration and find the deeper selves within us. The deepest, the thoughts which have been bred out of us over time, as we were forced by culture to forget. Why are we here, if not to create positive change.
I believe every voice counts, more-so than a voice in our political circus. Each voice can raise five new voices if what is said is important. This is what it means to be free. These signals we send are the inner process meant to be released to help others see a light that was extinguished when we ushered in an era of entertainment over importance. Writers are the last bastion of hope to remind people that we need to seek a future goal as a race. What is that goal?
My goal; to escape a mundane life filled with negativity and to enter a new place. A place where I can elaborate on my thoughts and enlighten others and feel intellectually fulfilled.
Deepest Thoughts On Our Legacy 